What is it that you want? This is a question you are asked from time to time and one that we frequently or should frequently ask ourselves. I was recently asked this question and I gave an answer, but I have been thinking about it long after that. The answer to this question is often different or it can change. What is it you want out of life? What is it that you want from a relationship? What is it that you want from your job? What is it that you want?
We all have things that we like and don’t like. It is just part of being human right? Kind of an obvious statement but the things one person likes can be something another absolutely hates. I was talking to a friend the other day that talked about the weather and the rain being gloomy. I said oh I kinda like the rainy weather.
It is kind of storming out now and I love to hear the rain falling. To me, it is kind of soothing and calming. It is kind of ironic I guess that a storm can sound calming but in a way it does. I love the steady rhythm it has. Thunder can’t be predicted but even in that randomness there is something exciting in it.
So where do you go from struggling? I guess the only answer you would expect would be up. The whole what goes up must come down rule, it applies the other way as well right? It really must, so if you go down, then you must come back up, or at least one would think so. I know that life really does not work that way, seen it and know it to be true. It is sad that life doesn’t promise us the good, just the bad.
Today we looked at houses again. We kind of are starting over where house hunting is concerned. I am ready to find one. Today I feel like we had some luck and one that I really liked. Our realtor said that we should check in tomorrow. We might make an offer.
I would love to get something going because then we could be closing on a house soon. I ready to close. I am ready to have a house. We will see what happens.
I don’t understand people and I don’t like them. That is quite a way to start a blog post right? I am just sick of little side comments. Things that people say that they tell themselves to I guess what?! Make themselves feel better or hurt more but they say it around someone as a means to hurt them. When you don’t do anything and try to help someone, knowing you can’t help them but at least trying, then all they do is sit around and talk about how they do it alone?! Well, what the hell am I doing?!
Writing is not happening today. There has been a lot going on and I don’t think I can even put it into words. I am not sure that I even want too. I feel like I am in limbo so I am not sure that I can even verbal that. I will be back and writing but just not today.
A day without writing. I honestly almost forgot. Today and probably tomorrow this will be all you get. I hope Monday will be a bit slower and I can catch-up. I will be house hunting all day tomorrow. We will see what happens. It will be long but hopefully good. I need to write but I’m tired and annoyed and don’t feel like thinking. I will try to be a bit more articulate in the coming days. We shall see though.
Whoever said, “Life isn’t easy,” was telling the truth. It seems like every day there is something new. The whole idea of something new isn’t inherently bad, but lately that is how it has felt for me. I feel like peace is just right outside my grasp and I don’t know what I can do to find it. I know you can’t worry about things that you can’t change or that you just don’t know what will happen, but sometimes it is hard to get your mind to stop obsessing.
Write. I must write. I haven’t yet today. It was both a good and chaotic day. It seems that is everyday. I want to stop and do things but lately it has been lawyer, house, mortgage, realtor, work, life, ugh!! Write when do I write?