Tag Archives: tired

Still Not Okay…

No matter how much I breathe or how much time passes, the memories are always there. The pain, festering right below the surface. The feelings of fear, shame, pain, disgust and confusion. I still doubt all that happened and I have a very hard time trying to put all these thoughts and feelings into words, but I can hardly breathe now. Some days, sometimes, the memories are too much.

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Feeling underappreciated…

The feeling of needing to do things makes me not want to do things. How confusing does that sentence sound? I think in my head it makes sense and maybe there is a reader or two out there that says yeah I get it, but hey I am not even sure that I get it. I have trying to commit. This whole blog has been about committing to something. I commit to writing every day for a year. Yeah well, I failed at that. I am trying to work on that again though. We can’t live in our past failures, but just look forward and improve upon them. But now that I am or trying to do that, I just feel like it is a lot of what and to what end is it?

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Where it stands

Sleep has not been my friend lately. I would say that I have felt more depressed lately and that would make sense with everything going on. I just don’t know how to get out of it. I hate that my “husband” seems fine. I hate how he talks about being honest and how people hate him for it and he won’t talk to me. If you want to be honest, here is your chance. I was probably the most honest with him the other night and still I feel like I get nothing back from him. I feel like he knows what he wants to do, but is too scared to say it.

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Tired

Today I am tired. I really don’t want to post. I feel like I have nothing to say. Yesterday we went to a concert which was fun but then woke up early this morning for what? You guessed it, house hunting. I am tired and a little annoyed. I didn’t expect it to be easy but man this is hard.

I feel like a kid who is forced to do homework. I don’t hate doing this but the commitment thing gets to me. I have issues committing. It is 100% the case. I am getting tired of the house hunting. I feel like let’s just pick a place already. I think the fact that the few we really liked just slipped away isn’t making it easier.

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