So I have been thinking about posting and yes I think maybe every day was a bit much. I think that I will definitely not post weekends at least not normally. I will post throughout the week, but weekends are to rest.
I am still not sure what I am doing with my Saturday but I have been putting off writing. The last few days my past has been on my mind and I am trying not to let that take over too much.
I the remembering and I hate the pain. I know that I need to heal and work through it but I will give it time. Despite wanting to do it overnight, I can’t. I have to take time and work through it. I need to start talking about it again in therapy. Small steps and we will see.
What is it that you want? This is a question you are asked from time to time and one that we frequently or should frequently ask ourselves. I was recently asked this question and I gave an answer, but I have been thinking about it long after that. The answer to this question is often different or it can change. What is it you want out of life? What is it that you want from a relationship? What is it that you want from your job? What is it that you want?
Continue reading What Is It You Really Want??
The other day I was thinking about living life to the fullest. Living life like it truly is, that you only have a short time. I understand why we can’t live everyday like we were dying, in the sense of picking up and just traveling. Logically I understand that, but there is still part of me that wishes that life could be that way. I wish that we could live life doing what we wanted to do. To just be able to get up and not have to worry about money or responsibilities. I wish that life could be that way.
Continue reading Trying to Live Life
Everybody wants to change the world
But one thing’s clear
No one ever wants to change themselves
~ “Do You Really Want It” by: Nothing More
So this band and these guys are awesome first and foremost. I have had the pleasure of seeing them love three times and look forward to many more. This song is on their most recent album. I just got to hear them preform this song live and beyond amazing. If you haven’t checked them out, you should.
Continue reading Do it for you
I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I went to therapy again and it felt hollow. I started going for abuse from my past and to deal with it but I wonder if I have. I feel like she doesn’t remember why I started coming but I guess that is my job. I know that therapy is what you make of it, but I don’t know what I want out of it. I have this just what’s the point feeling.
Continue reading Needing inspiration
The feeling of needing to do things makes me not want to do things. How confusing does that sentence sound? I think in my head it makes sense and maybe there is a reader or two out there that says yeah I get it, but hey I am not even sure that I get it. I have trying to commit. This whole blog has been about committing to something. I commit to writing every day for a year. Yeah well, I failed at that. I am trying to work on that again though. We can’t live in our past failures, but just look forward and improve upon them. But now that I am or trying to do that, I just feel like it is a lot of what and to what end is it?
Continue reading Feeling underappreciated…
Do you ever just get that no one is listening feeling? I struggle with that feeling from time to time as I think all of us do. I think we all want others to hear our words and respond to them, but the reality is that very few people will come across our words and take the time to read and absorb what we are saying. Sometimes it is just about facing reality, the reality that at the end of it all, if we can say that we touched one or two people then that is what will matter.
Continue reading Is this thing on?!
That could be a question for many things. Where do you go from here? Where do you go to be happy? Where do you go to feel love? Where do you go to find yourself?
I think many of these questions I ask myself in a regular basis but right now I really think about each of these questions. I feel like I should feel love and be happy. I am married and though things aren’t great they are pretty good. I still feel on uneasy ground if that makes sense.
Continue reading Where do you go?
I can’t sleep and just keep thinking. I am thinking about things and life. I started writing a new story. Oh yeah I am a writer, if you didn’t already know. I have the stacks of rejections to prove it. That is what they say right?
Continue reading Can’t sleep
I have failed. Not really like it is a surprise, but for the life of me, I can’t seem to keep this stuff up. I have started therapy, so that is an improvement. So much has happened in life though and I am not even sure where I stand.
Continue reading How long it has been….