I am frustrated. I have been frustrated most of the day. It has not been my week, to say the least. I feel like it is one thing after the other and of course all the emotions from whatever is going on with my husband. I am not comfortable in limbo. I have never realized that more than now.
So it has been an interesting couple days. High and low doesn’t even cut it. I went to therapy today. Day one and hopefully this will be good. I am not sure what I think or feel right now about anything.
I honestly don’t know if I am married or single. Yesterday my husband asked for the ring back and I gave it to him. It was weird I didn’t cry or anything, I just did it. I don’t want it to be over but I just feel like I am not capable of being what he needs.
So yesterday was an interesting day. It was long and stressful and really it was last night. I have been struggling myself, but then add in my husband and things are just stressing me out way too much. Last night my husband got upset with me and honestly, it was unwarranted. I definitely felt blindsided by it and how he reacted afterward just has me feeling crummy.
I have a weird personality. I want to do things or think I want to do things but then in reality I don’t. I like the idea of being busy but I don’t like the reality. If that makes any sense.
I think about writing and feel like I don’t have anything to say. I tell myself that I need to write my post for the day and I think what will I say? What do I have to say? Does anything that I have to say even matter?
Sometimes you just have to keep it to yourself. There are many things I want to say but I just feel like it is no point. I get told that I am high and mighty. I get told that others wonder why I am how I am and I am being protected. I don’t want to change.
So opinion time, time to seek advice. If you were friends with someone, and you get into a relationship. The person expresses sexual interest in you and you shut them down. Should you still talk with them? I was told by a friend no. I believe she is right. I know in my heart that she is right, but there is something inside of me that tells me it is okay and it doesn’t matter and I can still keep talking to him. We aren’t talking anything sexual, just talking as we were, friends.