Tag Archives: Reflection

Do it for you

Everybody wants to change the world

But one thing’s clear

No one ever wants to change themselves

~ “Do You Really Want It” by: Nothing More

So this band and these guys are awesome first and foremost. I have had the pleasure of seeing them love three times and look forward to many more. This song is on their most recent album. I just got to hear them preform this song live and beyond amazing. If you haven’t checked them out, you should.

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Is this thing on?!

Do you ever just get that no one is listening feeling? I struggle with that feeling from time to time as I think all of us do. I think we all want others to hear our words and respond to them, but the reality is that very few people will come across our words and take the time to read and absorb what we are saying. Sometimes it is just about facing reality, the reality that at the end of it all, if we can say that we touched one or two people then that is what will matter.

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Where do you go?

That could be a question for many things. Where do you go from here? Where do you go to be happy? Where do you go to feel love? Where do you go to find yourself?

I think many of these questions I ask myself in a regular basis but right now I really think about each of these questions. I feel like I should feel love and be happy. I am married and though things aren’t great they are pretty good. I still feel on uneasy ground if that makes sense.

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It is Time

So I ended up calling my therapist. At first I felt silly and thought it was a mistake, but after the session it was good. I feel like I am doing better now. I still feel up and down but I don’t feel quite so stressed.

At first she told me it was good. It was good that I was feeling stressed and anxious because it means that I am feeling things. I have a hard time with emotions and I definitely did not and have not dealt with my rape. I still blame myself for much of what happened and I don’t know how to not feel that way.

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Trying to get better…

So it has been quite a few weeks huh? House hunting, therapy and of course Harvey. There is another storm in the Atlantic but those of us on the coast don’t even want to think about that. I have been thinking about this blog and my lack of focus as of late, but I realize that I need to get back to it. I need to get back to the reason I wanted to do this. I wanted to take an open and honest look at myself and hold nothing back. I have gotten away from it and I am not sure why, but I have some ideas.

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Harvey

So I have been quite as I watch the chaos around me and my city. Texas has been hit hard and though I am lucky it is still hard to watch. I know people who have lost everything. There are those who lost their lives. Sadly the stories just keep on coming both good and bad. 

I am proud to be part of this city and state. It has gone through a lot and there are things I want to say but being in the midst of it. I am still waiting for the dust to settle so to speak. I want to write and just typing this is good. I have found that focus has been hard the past few days. Hopefully that gets better. 

Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts that have come our way. For all of those working hard to make sure the city comes out on its feet. There is so much left to do. The coming weeks and months will be difficult for all. We must keep going. 

About the eclipse…

Because today everything is about the eclipse why not? I honestly didn’t care much about it but then my mom bought me the viewing glasses. I took them to work and thought I wonder if I will use them.

It was a huge event across the country. Some places had fill eclipse but we just had partial. Looking at it through the glasses was quite an experience. It was really neat to see the sun covered.

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Sometimes all you can do is hope

So today was a full day of house hunting as well as just running. We found some prospects and the perfect one, but it is just a dream. So I’m good with the choices we have and there are other options too. We will see what happens. I have some time. Not much but some.

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