Tag Archives: personal life

Where it stands

Sleep has not been my friend lately. I would say that I have felt more depressed lately and that would make sense with everything going on. I just don’t know how to get out of it. I hate that my “husband” seems fine. I hate how he talks about being honest and how people hate him for it and he won’t talk to me. If you want to be honest, here is your chance. I was probably the most honest with him the other night and still I feel like I get nothing back from him. I feel like he knows what he wants to do, but is too scared to say it.

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One day at a time

So it has been an interesting couple days. High and low doesn’t even cut it. I went to therapy today. Day one and hopefully this will be good. I am not sure what I think or feel right now about anything.

I honestly don’t know if I am married or single. Yesterday my husband asked for the ring back and I gave it to him. It was weird I didn’t cry or anything, I just did it. I don’t want it to be over but I just feel like I am not capable of being what he needs.

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Small steps 

I have been considering therapy again. I have lots of things I’ve moved in from but I haven’t healed from. Today at work kind of by surprise I spoke with a friend about a lot of stuff. It was unexpected and probably the best conversation I’ve actually had in person about it all. I say best because I was actually able to talk about it.

The hardest thing for me is to talk about what happened. I don’t talk about what happened when I was younger but even from when I was older. I have realized a lot of stuff but there is still much I need to understand and deal with. The guy who wants to be my side piece has made me realize some things too.

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Lots of work to do…

I have a weird personality. I want to do things or think I want to do things but then in reality I don’t. I like the idea of being busy but I don’t like the reality. If that makes any sense.

I think about writing and feel like I don’t have anything to say. I tell myself that I need to write my post for the day and I think what will I say? What do I have to say? Does anything that I have to say even matter?

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Tired

Today I am tired. I really don’t want to post. I feel like I have nothing to say. Yesterday we went to a concert which was fun but then woke up early this morning for what? You guessed it, house hunting. I am tired and a little annoyed. I didn’t expect it to be easy but man this is hard.

I feel like a kid who is forced to do homework. I don’t hate doing this but the commitment thing gets to me. I have issues committing. It is 100% the case. I am getting tired of the house hunting. I feel like let’s just pick a place already. I think the fact that the few we really liked just slipped away isn’t making it easier.

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Sometimes all you can do is hope

So today was a full day of house hunting as well as just running. We found some prospects and the perfect one, but it is just a dream. So I’m good with the choices we have and there are other options too. We will see what happens. I have some time. Not much but some.

Continue reading Sometimes all you can do is hope

Just in time

A day without writing. I honestly almost forgot. Today and probably tomorrow this will be all you get. I hope Monday will be a bit slower and I can catch-up. I will be house hunting all day tomorrow. We will see what happens. It will be long but hopefully good. I need to write but I’m tired and annoyed and don’t feel like thinking. I will try to be a bit more articulate in the coming days. We shall see though.