Should have posted Friday but I am visiting my mom this weekend. I am taking these two days off. I will pick up Monday. Eclipse day?! People are so weird. Anyway, just wanted to say a quick note. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!!
I have a hard time focusing. I feel like I want to do something like write or something, but then the act of committing to that action feels so burdensome. I mentioned that feeling to my therapist last week, not sure if that means anything, but it is bothersome for me right now.
Like most days. Today I am tired. I woke up feeling a bit under the weather. It seems something is going around work. I am trying not to catch it but my focus is more than lacking.
Sleep has not been my friend lately. I would say that I have felt more depressed lately and that would make sense with everything going on. I just don’t know how to get out of it. I hate that my “husband” seems fine. I hate how he talks about being honest and how people hate him for it and he won’t talk to me. If you want to be honest, here is your chance. I was probably the most honest with him the other night and still I feel like I get nothing back from him. I feel like he knows what he wants to do, but is too scared to say it.
Writing is not happening today. There has been a lot going on and I don’t think I can even put it into words. I am not sure that I even want too. I feel like I am in limbo so I am not sure that I can even verbal that. I will be back and writing but just not today.
So it has been an interesting couple days. High and low doesn’t even cut it. I went to therapy today. Day one and hopefully this will be good. I am not sure what I think or feel right now about anything.
I honestly don’t know if I am married or single. Yesterday my husband asked for the ring back and I gave it to him. It was weird I didn’t cry or anything, I just did it. I don’t want it to be over but I just feel like I am not capable of being what he needs.
So yesterday was an interesting day. It was long and stressful and really it was last night. I have been struggling myself, but then add in my husband and things are just stressing me out way too much. Last night my husband got upset with me and honestly, it was unwarranted. I definitely felt blindsided by it and how he reacted afterward just has me feeling crummy.
Today I am tired. I really don’t want to post. I feel like I have nothing to say. Yesterday we went to a concert which was fun but then woke up early this morning for what? You guessed it, house hunting. I am tired and a little annoyed. I didn’t expect it to be easy but man this is hard.
I feel like a kid who is forced to do homework. I don’t hate doing this but the commitment thing gets to me. I have issues committing. It is 100% the case. I am getting tired of the house hunting. I feel like let’s just pick a place already. I think the fact that the few we really liked just slipped away isn’t making it easier.
So I woke up this morning and realized, dun dun dun, I forgot to post yesterday. I will make it up by posting twice today. I know it really isn’t a make up but at least it is something.
So today was a full day of house hunting as well as just running. We found some prospects and the perfect one, but it is just a dream. So I’m good with the choices we have and there are other options too. We will see what happens. I have some time. Not much but some.