I can’t sleep and just keep thinking. I am thinking about things and life. I started writing a new story. Oh yeah I am a writer, if you didn’t already know. I have the stacks of rejections to prove it. That is what they say right?
Anyway, I am thinking. I am thinking about what I posted earlier. I am thinking about life. I am thinking about me and men. I want to get away. My husband sits around and complains all the time. I am sick of it. His brother is here. At first I was okay with it but now it bothers me. He sits around and complains or he is on his phone. His presence bothers me. That sounds awful but it does.
I am going to hell there is no question about that. I am a terrible person. I genuinely don’t like people. The drama and the stress. People are awful. I am awful. This blog post is awful. Do I expect miracles at almost midnight?
I am tired of all of it. My birthday is next week and my husband doesn’t care. I don’t feel loved or appreciated. I hate my birthday because I hate myself. I am just down on everything I guess. I feel like I am going to break down and blow up. I just want to relax and take it easy.
I just don’t know what to say or who to say it to. So to my readers this is me. I am a mess. I am hurt or hurting who knows. I am not a good person. I want to be but I am not. If you knew me you probably wouldn’t like me or at least not for long. I can’t stop thinking and I can’t sleep…