Sometimes shows get me

I am tired. It has been quite a busy week at work. I work in HR in benefits and we have been preparing for open enrollment. Normally open enrollment isn’t a hectic time for the team I am on but before has been super busy getting prepared. Hopefully it goes smoothly.

Besides work life has been up and down. Things with my husband have been good for the most part. He has his moments when he complains about me but for the most part it is good. We both have issues and sometimes we can’t be the support we need. I have come to realize and accept that but he struggles with it. I try to be understanding but sometimes it is difficult.

Today I watched “How to Get Away With Murder” and for some reason it really affected me. Annalise is defending a woman who was sex trafficked. It was heartbreaking to hear. Her therapist told her that she saw herself in that woman because she was abused as a child too. I don’t know why but it got to me.

I struggle with what happened when I was younger. I still try and forget it. I try to make it no big deal. I try to be okay with it. I know I am not and I guess me crying is a way that I am dealing with the emotions of it.

I can cry for tv and shows. I can cry for others pain but I have a hard time when it is mine. I have a hard time when I need to cry for me. I think I am feeling more of it now. I am trying to not overwhelm myself with it. I guess just crying at that show was good. I cried for myself, the character, all real victims of abuse. It is difficult but we all just have to take small steps. I guess that is part of my small steps.

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