So it has been an interesting couple days. High and low doesn’t even cut it. I went to therapy today. Day one and hopefully this will be good. I am not sure what I think or feel right now about anything.
I honestly don’t know if I am married or single. Yesterday my husband asked for the ring back and I gave it to him. It was weird I didn’t cry or anything, I just did it. I don’t want it to be over but I just feel like I am not capable of being what he needs.
He needs a lot emotionally and that is just not me. I am hoping therapy will help but I told him I can’t make any promises. I honestly don’t know where I stand. I don’t want a divorce but then again I don’t know if staying together is the right idea. I know I want a family but feel like it will never happen.
The idea of that does make me sad. I want a child. I don’t know if I want one with my current husband though. That might sound awful but I am getting up there. I am 30 so if not him then probably not at all. That does make me sad. I have always wanted a kid. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be.
I guess we will see what happens with therapy. I hope things turn out for the best. I told my husband that he needs to decide though and really think about what he wants. We will see what happens. I am just letting it all sink in though. We will see.