A sad day

Today another one dies. Thousands of people die all over the world every day but it seems that there have been far too many suicides. Chester Bennington was found dead this morning in an apparent suicide. Saying that he died, just doesn’t seem like it is enough. I am in shock and of course, I did not personally know him or anything but the heartache over someone taking their own life is heartbreaking. Of course, the speculation could be endless, being that today would have been Chris Cornell’s 53rd birthday, so maybe that played a part, but either way it is horribly sad.

I can’t say that I don’t understand the struggle with suicide. I have thought about it before, with my past of abuse, but there are those, like my mother, who I knew would hurt, that stopped me. I know that suicide has no reasoning and logic to it. People are just hurting, they can’t see a way out of that, and so they only see the end to their pain is to end their life.

Suicide is never an answer. It is a final solution to suffering, but I can’t say that I believe it is ever going to be the right choice. There was a time in my life that I thought I wouldn’t be strong enough or brave enough to commit suicide, but really it is the other way. It isn’t brave to commit suicide, it is a tragedy, but it isn’t brave. It is brave to live on, despite the pain, and saying that no matter what you are going to see it through.

I am not of the “it is cowardly” crowd either. I don’t think it is cowardly to commit suicide. I can understand the desire and the helpless feeling. I can understand the pain of not knowing what will happen. I can understand the pain of never thinking the pain will end. It is a lie that our minds tell us. Too often the lies we have in our head seem to take over and cause us so much stress that we can’t seem to see anything else. We can’t seem to see that life will keep going. We can’t see that pain will end and so the way to stop it, is to end our lives. It is a tragic choice.

Today is a sad day. It is a sad day because there is another suicide. There is another person who lost their battle with depression and their mental illness. There needs to be a change in how it is all viewed and looked at. There needs to be a change in our society. We need to see the people around us. We need to see the pain that others are feeling and suffering. We need our government to take mental health seriously. Until there is real change to how all of this is viewed there will continue to be sad days. There will continue to be heartbreak, tragedy and loss. We can end it, well maybe not, but we can try. Sometimes all we can do is try.

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